Doing Life in Lavender

Happy Purple Day all! I'm sorry it's been so long! Every year I get really excited about the opportunity to raise awareness for epilepsy! And every year I share a bit of my story, my epilepsy journey that hopefully does that. It's Purple Day and one of the reasons it's been so long is I was planning my wedding last year so I thought I'd share the most purple bits of my wedding!  Our flowers, as you can see, are stunning! And despite having a colour scheme of blue and red, they ended up being a gorgeous purple that still matched everything and I felt like they reflected me a little bit as well! Loved them!  I had a couple of flare-ups of my epilepsy throughout the day. The ceremony all went to plan. We actually got married but towards some of the photos we had immediately afterwards, my brain went a bit squiffy, as I like to call it. It was all fine because I was stood next to my new hubby who kept me upright, but immediately afterwards was a cake cutting! How was I ...

Hello again! This is a card I was sent from some incredibly lovely people at my church, the last time I was in hospital. I am so blessed to be able to say that this isn't unusual when I'm hospital-bound. Each card of encouragement, support or assurance of prayer for me is something I treasure. I've kept every single one! When I'm feeling rubbish or am in hospital, it is such an encouragement to know I have a church family praying for me. Cards like this remind me I'm not alone. I not only have the support of my church family who prays for me, but I also have the almighty God of the universe holding me in his hand, and that's who we pray to!  Whether it's cards, visits in hospital or prayer, I know I am incredibly blessed to have my church family helping me through.    

  Hello everyone! This is another random selfie with a story. This is a story about independence though. Or rather a lack of it... This selfie would never have happened if I hadn't needed to be dependent on my family in a way I've gotten used to, but still don't really like.  Some of my seizures occur on a daily basis. However, some days are worse than others! On the days when it is worse, I am often less able to do day-to-day things that I normally take for granted, such as being out alone or using public transport to get into work. That's exactly what happened on this day. I wasn't feeling my best and couldn't get the bus to work. This resulted in my brother taking me down to where he was working, at our church that day, and I spent about 3-4 hours hanging out in a Covid-empty building working on a ramble for you lovely people! My work is only a few minutes from my church so I was able to get there relatively safely knowing my brother could come and help if I ...

Hello everyone! This is a photo that would not exist if I did not have epilepsy. It is the bucket of money I raised for the charity Young Epilepsy from a cake sale that I put on when I was about 17. As someone with epilepsy, as I got older I became more passionate about education and awareness surrounding epilepsy. Therefore when I got to sixth form, as my confidence was growing, I wanted to do something to encourage my school to educate themselves about the condition I experienced on a day-to-day basis. I thought the way to motivate teenagers would be with cake so I put on a Purple Day cake sale. I had so much cake leftover and lots of people disappointed they hadn't been able to get cake because they had forgotten money because...well, if you've ever met a teenager, then you'll know that the teenage memory occasionally leaves a little to be desired... And so we carried on the next day, and the next day, and the next day! We ended up with a whole school week of a cake sale...

  Hello again! This might look like a random selfie and that's because that's exactly what it is! This is a selfie I took when I was on a break when I did work experience, aged seventeen. What I didn't know when I took this photo was that later that day I would see my first seizure (where I wasn't the one seizing, I mean!) I had been judging people for so long throughout my childhood for the way they reacted to my seizures, and suddenly I was the one in their shoes.  Seeing a seizure myself gave me a much deeper appreciation for what it was like to be on the other side of a seizure. The feeling of helplessness and a greater appreciation of what my friends and family do for me. I realised how upsetting seizures could be to watch, and that they could be scary! I am pleased to report that I did not panic, however I did not take the lead on managing the seizure. I was just put in charge of timing it. I was only the work experience girl after all!

Hello again! So today's photo is where I feel safest when I'm having a bad day. My living room floor, on my quilt, surrounded by pillows and with Shamu who you may have met yesterday somewhere very close. This is me on a rough day during sixth form procrastinating from an essay I had to write by trying out the camera on my laptop but hey the photo came in handy!    When I was little I fell off the sofa whilst seizing, and ever since then have always felt safer and much more comfortable on the ground for the simple reason that there is nowhere to fall! So on a rough day, I will spend my time on the living room floor. With space around me so I don't hit anything if I do have a seizure, and lots of squishy things to make me as safe as possible. I have Shamu who helps me move around the house if necessary, and there is almost always a fan in the room as well so I don't overheat as overheating is a trigger for me. I'll almost always be found either in a vest and shorts...

 Hello again! Today I thought I'd show you the first time I met a cuddly toy killer whale called Shamu. For a stuffed creature he has been pretty important in my epilepsy story for the past thirteen years. He has been not only a great comforter as a child accompanying me into hospital even in recent days. As I grew up he came in very handy as a cushion to land on as I rather precariously moved around the house on my bad days. I, even now, if I'm having a bad day will crawl around carrying him underneath me as I go so that if I do seize I have a soft landing and don't injure myself.  He is also the guardian of my family's circulation. Let me explain... I've been known to get very grabby when things get bad. If I have hold of something tightly it can make me feel more safe and secure when I'm having a rough day. I can't injure something squishy and full of stuffing like Shamu and if I'm grabbing onto him, I'm not cutting off the circulation of my famil...

Hello again wonderful people! Today I wanted to talk about independence which is something I’ve talked about before. This time though, it will be the sole focus of my ramble. The feeling of not being as independent as I would like to be is something I have struggled with continuously as I have grown up, and as I get older it has only gotten worse. Any young child is pretty much totally dependent on grown-ups to help them through life, whether they have epilepsy or not. This meant that when I was little, I really didn’t notice too much difference between myself and my peers. There was little difference apart from me being the only kid in my swimming class to need 1:1 supervision in the water. As a child I lacked independence anyway, so my epilepsy didn’t change much. This was helped along by the fact that my parents were determined for me to have as “normal” a life as possible. Things only started getting more complicated as I got older and I started sticking out like a sore thumb. Wh...

Hello again lovely people! I am sorry for the delay but I’m glad that this blog is finally here! Today I wanted to talk about friendships. I do not think my epilepsy had a big impact on my friendships. However, I do think my friendships impacted my epilepsy and how well I adjusted to it.   I had a couple of friends who were close, practically since birth who really got my seizures, but also weird quirks and all the emotions that came with my seizures. These girls grew up with my epilepsy and were there right from the beginning. Our friendships were never affected by my seizures. We were just best friends who loved spending time together but when they needed to, they looked after me. They accepted me and my slightly special brain and they helped me feel normal when I felt different. I never felt like an inconvenience around them. As kids, I’m fairly sure they were still more qualified than most adults to handle my seizures. They were the only people I could have sleepovers with be...

Hello again! A few days ago I sat down with my amazing mum and had a conversation about what it was like to be the parent of a child with a complex neurological condition. Specifically me. During this interview, we discuss what it was like being my mum during a weird and complicated diagnosis, managing things like school, how my brothers were told I had epilepsy as well as a fair bit more!  This was not a conversation that would normally happen so it was really nice to sit down with her and try and get some of her perspective on certain things as well as her insights, people who have helped her the most and things that she has learned.  My mum decided that she didn't want to be filmed so for the most part this is entirely audio. I hope that's ok! However, because we are muppets, we didn't realise until after recording that we had used lots of people's names when we shouldn't have done. Thus, every now and then, a message will appear on the screen for clarification o...

 Hello again wonderful people! Today, with it being the beginning of September and schools going back, I thought I’d share some of my experience of epilepsy at school. I tended to be quite a quiet and awkward child at school, but that was just my personality. I was only loud and a little bit crazy with people I was completely comfortable around. That tended to mean I had fewer but closer friends at school. I was a bit of a nerd. I loved books. I was always reading and genuinely loved learning (if geography wasn’t involved!). I was also unashamedly a teacher’s pet. However, I was also not very good at standing up for myself, which ended up with me being bullied a bit. The group of friends that I did have made being bullied so much easier. I didn’t really care if at lunch I could go and hang out in our tiny corner of the school. I also had a motto that got me through any kind of bullying whether related to my epilepsy or not. I think it was my mum who first said to me that no one’s...

Hello again! Today I thought I’d talk to you about my personal experience of hospital admissions. This is something that I’ve had very mixed experiences with. Most of my inpatient stays in hospital have been planned rather than me having to be admitted suddenly or taken in an ambulance as the result of my seizures. This is because, for the most part, my seizures are manageable, especially with a nurse mum! Hospital has always been a last resort for us because my mum can handle pretty much anything! Other than a couple of occasions within the past three years, all my most intense hospital stays were as a baby or toddler, either pre-diagnosis or newly diagnosed and I think this has somewhat shaped my views on hospitals. The majority of my time spent in hospital was planned tests and scans. Most of these were outpatient and I didn’t have to stay in, but when I did have to stay, it tended to be EEG video telemetry. EEG video telemetry is when electrodes are glued to your head to record w...

Hi again! Firstly, thank you so much for the incredible response to the video I did last time with Michael! It means so much! Today I thought I’d take some time to discuss with you lovely people what it can be like having epilepsy at work, and what can help make life easier and safer whilst working. I’m going to try to make this not just personal experience, but also include things that can be helpful for managers to be aware of or have an understanding of if they have an employee with epilepsy.   I jumped straight from school into work and have only worked for two companies. As you do with any job, I had ups and downs with both. However, in regards to support in the management of my epilepsy I’ve had starkly different experiences.   I work in healthcare and have only ever worked in healthcare. However, in my first job my manager made no attempt to understand my epilepsy. The staff I worked with were amazing and asked questions to make sure they knew what to do if I had ...

Hello again! I know this isn't what I usually do, and I might do another 'proper' blog on this topic in the future. However, I decided to do something a bit different and video an interview with my fiancé Michael about what it was like being in a relationship with someone with epilepsy, and how he thought my epilepsy had impacted our relationship.  This was all done in one take and I've never filmed a video like this before so please be gentle! There might be some slightly confusing moments so please let me know if you need any clarification at all on anything that I've said.

Hello again, lovely people! Today I'm talking about medication and the impact it can have. Medication can be a huge part of anyone's life. It isn't just epilepsy, however as it is something that pretty much everyone with epilepsy has to deal with, I thought I'd share my personal experiences on it. I'm currently on four medications for my epilepsy; Carbamazepine, Zonisamide, Clobazam, and Levetiracetam (if it seems like a lot that's because it is!). Managing four medications can be tricky and I've had a lot of experience with a variety of medications so I thought I'd share some of all that. If someone starts having seizures and is given a diagnosis of epilepsy, AED's (Anti-Epileptic Drugs) are nearly always the first treatment that is tried. Fortunately, roughly sixty percent of people's epilepsy can be completely controlled with AED’s. However, the process of finding the appropriate combination of medications can be a long and difficult one. Pe...

Hi again! Today I wanted to share with you just a bit about how my family has managed my epilepsy. I'm really fortunate in that my experience of family and epilepsy has been a really positive one and I know that isn't always the case. With that in mind, I just wanted to give a disclaimer that I am only talking from my own personal experience. I am incredibly blessed that God gave me a really supportive family. Both my parents, my two older brothers and more extended family have been amazing in helping me accomplish anything I choose and encouraging me. This is probably largely due to my parents, deciding when I was diagnosed that my epilepsy would never hold us back from anything we wanted to do as a family and I think this decision shaped me significantly. Helped along by my mum's nursing background and sheer determination, there was always an answer for everything. Things might need to be adjusted along the way, but she can figure out a way to make just about anything saf...